Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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