i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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