Quick, to the slutcave!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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