Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
