thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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