is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
