drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i barfeds in our rink
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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