I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
