i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
