I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
