respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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