Moan for me like Helen Keller
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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