There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
