i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
