im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
