nut hugger
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
