yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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