After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
