It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
