you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
