I can tuck mytits in my pants
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
