Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
