Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
