I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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