Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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