my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it glows. i had to have it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
