Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
