That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my vag is so smooth its legendary
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
