oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
