She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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