the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am spending my child support on dildos
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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