I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
