so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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