He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
People in love make me want to vomit
I look better un-naked...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
