Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
