Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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