What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
