guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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