Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
