Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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