just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
