I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I bet he comes in French.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
