oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. Itβs like the pied piper, but with penis
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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