I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
