He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
