I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
