used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
