We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
