so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
