ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
