so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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