'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
