I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
